Live and let die
by Ibilintu
Summary: "You never won." And Sai still could talk. His tongue wasn't cut, not yet, but he knew that it would happen, maybe sooner than he thought. But at least he could die, die by drowning into his own blood, die after all this. M for violence-


**A//N:** My first own story (not an RP thing) published in here :'D I'm nervous, whoah. But anyway. I was just reading a random fanfic which had a very IC Sai in it, and that finally flipped me over the edge with my Sai hating. This fic is purely dedicated to that feeling, but don't worry, it's not about bashing Sai. You can read it if you like him, too. and hey, it's short, because I just... Well, I'd had a writer's block for months and months, and then I just sat down and wrote this. I hope it's still readable, with my very poor English. Well, enough of random babbling, I guess.

**Warnings: **Death, some violence, hints of NaruSasu and SaiNaru, OOC-ness and very rusty writing. Rated M for violence, just to be safe.

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, no no.

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Sai screamed. It wasn't one of those screams you could hear from your neighbour apartment during the darkest nights if you listened close enough or happened to have your bedroom next to theirs, nor was it a scream of fear, one you gave when coming home from a horror movie and having someone grab your shoulder in the darkest part of the street. No. It was a scream that someone had been trying to hold back for long, a scream that spoke of the most unbearable pain, something that no person should be able to endure without the light of their mind dulling and finally flicking to black. A scream that made the unfortunate person listening hug themselves and call their lover to make sure that they were still alright, with all the limbs still connected.

But the only person who heard Sai's scream didn't back away, didn't even flinch as the horrific sound filled his ears, making his whole body shiver from an almost animalistic instinct. As soon as the echoes of the scream had faded away, the only person listening scooted closer to the pale, almost grayish body on the stone floor, the nearly equally pale fingers clenching and then straightening again, hot red blood dripping down from them, making the rock under his bare feet slick with the vital liquid. Yet his steps were steady, there wasn't even a chance of him slipping, not here where he lived, or had lived, where blood had been shed before, yet never for a reason such as this. The slender body moved still closer, and the other on the floor didn't move; maybe it was fear, maybe just survival instinct, but something told him that another scream wouldn't be tolerated. There was no chance of escaping, not in the state he was, and he was clever enough not to try to beg for mercy, and too proud for that too. The only black eye of the pale man on the floor was directed at his approaching predator, and even if there was no hope left, the other man could see a hint of an amused smile in that eye. Where it came from, neither of them knew, but that smile was what infuriated the capturer even more.

In seconds the raven-haired predator was there, kneeling next to his prey, the equally dark eyes gazing down at the slim, once so strong body. The grayish skin was still partially hidden by strips of black cloth, like to keep his most private and treasured parts hidden from the ruthless eyes that examined him like a doctor gone mad in an old horror movie. One bloody hand slowly lifted and pressed against the firm stomach that had once caused so much envy within both males and females alike, and earned him so much adoring and even respect, with the way he'd liked to keep it exposed. And even now Sai was glad to have it revealed like this. He had never hesitated to show his enemies what was the reason they'd lost the fight, and having the other man looking at his nearly naked body was the best of chances for that.

The burning pain having left his body again, Sai took a deep breath, a quiet whimper rising from the bottom of his throat. The onyx eyes immediately flicked back to his face, and for a moment, from the way he'd seen a pale hand twitching, he thought he'd get hit for that. But he should have known better. After an insignificant amount of time the man who was hovering above him relaxed, starting to stroke his stomach in firm, almost gentle circles. The touch could've been soothing, almost arousing even, if not for the fact that the pale hand spread red, hot liquid all over his skin. One finger dipped into his navel, circling it slowly until it was almost filled with blood, his blood. The familiarity of the action brought a trademark smile to Sai's face, and he couldn't help himself. Maybe he was going crazy, from suppressed fear, from pain, from hatred, but there was something in the whole situation that made it almost funny to him. Or maybe it was just the way the other man had reacted, it was just like they had guessed. He and the other, the third. Irony of life sometimes struck hard.

"I've been done that before, Uchiha", Sai coughed out, his voice getting almost caught up in his throat, like the words were out only to strangle him. It was a voice of someone who had experienced both emotional and physical pain, a voice of someone who'd recently screamed for his life, a voice that was begging to be left unused, to get some rest, a voice that didn't want to break. And at the same time, the voice was laughing, mocking, like dancing around the devil in a way that shouldn't have been possible, not anymore, not for him. It was everywhere, the same amused laughter; in the black eye, in the curved corners of the plump lips, even in the pale, tormented body. And it wasn't left unnoticed by the raven.

The pale hand slowed down and eventually stopped, middle finger still resting in the pool of blood that was gathered in Sai's belly button, making it spill over and pour down the stained, pale side of the man like a horrific, tiny stream. The man didn't have to voice his question, it was showing clear in his eyes as he turned to look at his prey in the only one open eye.

"Yes, indeed. But-", Sai had to clear his throat to get his voice come out again, something pooling in the back of his throat. For all he knew, it could be either blood or saliva, or even a mixture. He didn't care.  
"It wasn't blood, that time, no, and it wasn't a hand..."

And that was all he had to say, because they both knew what he meant. They had both experienced the way the third man, the reason behind this all, the only person of the three who wasn't present, who didn't even know about this, or so they thought, the way he'd loved cleaning his lover's stomach after making them scream and writhe as pleasure shook their body. They could both remember the way the usually so sparkling eyes had glanced up at them, darkened with lingering pleasure and something deeper, love maybe, as the strong tongue, the same organ that had touched them both before, touched so many places, made them shake and moan, flicked out of the hot, wet mouth, trailing up their stomachs, licking away all the evidence of their moment of peace, their time of love and _living_, occasionally dipping into their navel, playfully making love to it the same way the man had done to them earlier, filling them with his love and the truth that only he knew existed.

Yet it was something only one of the two had got to feel during the last couple of years. It had been a broken promise, a shattered vow, a moment of flaming lust and desire, a lasting feeling of shame and regret, yet something that couldn't be or even wanted to be undone. It had been too long, too long had the raven been away, too long for the third man, the one that wasn't present now. Never had they meant it to happen, yet still it had, and in a moment of lust it was all destroyed, leaving two of them broken inside.

And that memory was the reason the pale hand had stopped and was now only resting on the pale stomach, while they both waited what the man would do, what he would say, how he would respond to his prisoner's words. The bloody, slightly panting man on the floor had no chance of even guessing what was going in the other's head, with the pair of black orbs being hid from him by the pale eyelids and long, dark lashes that landed on the pale cheeks, making many girls envious. It was almost ironic, Sai thought, how such a man had been given such eyelashes, when they were in pure contradiction to his nature, to the merciless being that lived behind that adored, feared face. But now, right now, as he moved the gaze of his one eye to the other cheek of the man who's captured him like this, now he could see why they suited this person so well. With drops of blood on that cheek, with the way some lashes had landed into a little pool of blood, it didn't make the man only beautiful.

But then the eyes wasn't closed anymore. It had opened, when, Sai couldn't tell. He didn't know how much time had passed, but with the look he'd been given, he knew that soon he would know nothing anymore. He wouldn't need the knowledge of how long he'd been lying in here, on the cold hard stone floor, in the cave that was in a forest very few came anymore. In a place such as this, it wasn't time that mattered. There wasn't 'some time ago' or 'maybe tomorrow', not even 'last year', no, it was only _now_ that existed here.

'Now' was when Sai saw the black eyes turning red, an action which should've made him shiver from fear and pray for someone to save him, but which actually gave him a weird feeling of peace and certain serenity. With those red eyes, he wouldn't be here any longer, he wouldn't have to feel the pain or the cold stone under him or the light breeze of wind that came in from the mouth of the cave and left from a hole on the top of it. He wouldn't have to see the set of flaming, black eyes that looked at him with such an amount of hatred that it shouldn't exist in one single person, a way that almost made him want to laugh. Even with the way he was lying here, unable to move, hardly having enough strength left to scream, he had won. Finally, finally he knew that he had won. He knew...

Pain. The same, tearing pain, very similar to the one that had made him scream before, pain that made him wish he was dead, made him wish that he could move, that he had something to use to push away the source of the pain, the finger that was now somewhere where it should never be, in a place that nothing should ever touch, inside his head, behind his eye, and then out again, out out out, but not alone, out with a little, squeezy, slimy ball, something that had belonged to Sai, been a part of him for his whole life, for all these years, something he'd never thought he'd lose, not like this.

It was the moment that the lights were turned off when the pain truly hit, making his immobiliszd, helpless body squirm and spasm from the fire that was filling his head, that was trying to burst out from his eye socket, burst out with the wave of blood and other liquids, and the blood poured down, poured down his face and dropped to the cold hard stone floor from his chin, trying to get into his nose and mouth and ears, succeeding with his mouth, being drawn in by his scream, making him cough and whimper, his body fighting against suffocating, even if death was close anyway.

But soon his screams were over, again. The pain faded away, and this time Sai couldn't see the pale hand on his face, couldn't see the blue gleaming of chakra as it flowed out of the once so soft fingertips, from hand that done seen both love and war, had done so much and yet accomplished nothing, nothing but created more hatred and fear, something that shouldn't have happened, not like this. Yet still Sai knew that the hand was there, he could feel the tingling on his skin as the blood started to stop pouring out, where the wounds started to close, though not enough to start healing. They were, like the many others, left so that the man on the floor could still feel them, could feel the stinging, so that the man still knew that they were there, to torture him by just reminding him that they existed.

"You never won." And he still could talk. His tongue wasn't cut, not yet, but he knew that it would happen, maybe sooner than he thought, if this continued. But at least he could die, die by drowning into his own blood, die after all this. He knew that he wouldn't be saved, and he didn't even want to be, not anymore. Even if he was alive, _life_ had left his body long ago, and there was no point in keeping on living.  
"You never won", he repeated, the once so self-conscious voice now being but a hoarse whisper.  
"You lost long ago. You lost, and you can't have another try. You can't win again. You've lost."

The silence that followed those words was frightening enough itself, and even if Sai couldn't see anymore, would never be able to see again, he could almost hear the flames burning the the depths of those red-and-black eyes, eyes that were now close to his face, closer than they had been ever before. He couldn't imagine what reason the other man would have to get that close, couldn't see any way to hurt him anymore, there was no way those eyes could hurt him, not only the eyes. Not even the famous eyes of the Uchihas, it wasn't only the eyes.

And then it wasn't just the eyes. The useless eyelids flashed open, causing another bloody flame burst out from his eye socket, hot thick liquid strolling down his cheek like a tear, tear that stained the lips that had just pressed against his, tasting him with such gentleness that he hadn't though could ever exist in the other man, in a way that shouldn't have been met here, in the bloody mess that was on the floor of the cave in the forest where only few rarely came. He didn't fight it, didn't want to fight the touch, and even if it finally made him feel pathetic, made him hate himself, he clung to the touch, wished to remember this last sign of kindness, even if it was given out of pure cruelty and hatred. It was fake and he knew it, but it soothed his mind, making him sigh lightly against the lips that soon pulled away, a low chuckle emitting from them.

"You're wrong." And then there was a hand resting on his neck, fingers slowly pressing against his skin, his breathing becoming harder and harder every second.

"I won." Hot red blood bursted out of the pale neck as the equally pale fingers with fingernails sharp as wolf's pierced the skin and the arteries, ripping a long shred of skin off, opening a wound from Sai's chin down to the middle of his chest as the hand pulled up, bringing the skin and pieces of veins, windpipe, masses of blood and other things up with it. Only one gurling sound was heard before the Sai's head turned backwards, life leaving his body with one sigh that maybe hadn't even existed, that might've been only the raven's imagination.

Slowly the other man stood up, the pieces of flesh and skin still in his hand as he watched blood leaving the pale body, pooling under his neck and starting to spread, reaching the previous spots of the vital liquid around the hashed body, a body that was still covered with straps of black cloth, hiding places that were supposed to be covered from others' eyes. Still he stood, not moving or saying a word, not even when the blood reached his feet and surrounded them, the warmth of the red liquid making him shiver momentarily. And as the flow of blood started to slow down, as the metallic smell had filled the cave, as the body in front of him started to get cold, the man dropped the pieces of flesh and skin on that adored stomach in front of him on the floor and took a step back.

"Sasuke? You coming or not? Karin's starting to miss you alr- Ouch!"

"You damn jellyfish, stop lying!"

"Hey, it wasn't-"

He tuned the others out, staring at his creation a little more, dark, cold satisfaction settling inside of him. His work here was done, he had finally done something he was proud of. Something he wouldn't regret, something he knew had been right. Something that would give him the dices to win the game, the keys to open the last door, the bloody ladder to climb back to his lover's balcony. Now it would be his again, everything he'd ever wanted. Slowly his gaze sweeped over the remains of the pale body on the floor, meeting the arm that had been torn out of it's place earlier, blood that had flown out from between the man's legs, blood from the numerous wounds, holes, cuts from his legs, the eyes that rested on both sides of the emotionless face, clearly carefully placed on the floor. There was nothing that spoke of life in that body anymore, nothing that told what kind of person he'd been... Or so the raven thought. A frown crossed his face, a look that promised something worse than death to anyone who dared to walk to him now, and he leaned down, to get a better look of the grayish face.

The smile. It was still there. The arrogant, self-conscious smile, the smile that had caused all this, the smile that had existed only to bring the raven over the edge right now. Even in death, this man was mocking him.

The eyes that had faded back to black just moments ago were red again, yet it was different this time, the black pattern in the redness was different, and more red came out from behind his eyes, pouring down the pale cheeks like just moments before, like had happened to the man who was lying on his feet now. And with that blood, with the hot red stream on his cheeks came the last word, last word that the dead body would ever hear with his deaf ears. One last word.

_"Amaterasu."_


End file.
